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YOUR CHILDREN, NOT YOUR OWN

Emmanuel Okom
  It is a common yet flawed assumption that children belong to their parents. Many, particularly in African societies, operate under the illusion that biological connection equals ownership. But let us pause for a moment and reflect – who among us can claim ownership of another’s soul? Who among us chose their own entry into this world? The truth is as old as time itself: we do not own our children; they are God’s, lent to us for a time, to be raised and nurtured, not possessed and manipulated. The Divine Custodianship of Parenthood Children are not commodities to be controlled, coerced, or commanded at will. They are gifts from the Almighty, entrusted into our care for a fleeting season. Psalm 127:3 reminds us, “Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” The language is clear: they are a heritage, not an acquisition. Parents are custodians, not owners. In Genesis, when God blessed humanity with the ability to multiply, He did not ...
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YOUR CHILDREN, NOT YOUR OWN

Emmanuel Okom

 

It is a common yet flawed assumption that children belong to their parents. Many, particularly in African societies, operate under the illusion that biological connection equals ownership. But let us pause for a moment and reflect – who among us can claim ownership of another’s soul? Who among us chose their own entry into this world? The truth is as old as time itself: we do not own our children; they are God’s, lent to us for a time, to be raised and nurtured, not possessed and manipulated.

The Divine Custodianship of Parenthood

Children are not commodities to be controlled, coerced, or commanded at will. They are gifts from the Almighty, entrusted into our care for a fleeting season. Psalm 127:3 reminds us, “Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” The language is clear: they are a heritage, not an acquisition. Parents are custodians, not owners.

In Genesis, when God blessed humanity with the ability to multiply, He did not relinquish His claim as the Supreme Father. Instead, He assigned earthly stewards to guide these young souls. This truth is evident in how Jesus refers to God as our Father (Matthew 6:9). If we all belong to the Father, then no human can lay claim over another, not even in the parent-child relationship.

The African Obsession with Ownership

In many African cultures, children are seen not only as extensions of their parents but as possessions to be controlled and used as deemed fit. This mindset manifests in oppressive upbringing, forced paths in career and marriage, and in more grotesque forms – sacrificial rituals, where children are offered for money and power.

We have seen parents who dictate every detail of their children’s lives, disregarding their destinies and divine callings. Some enforce marital unions for financial or social gains, suppressing love and happiness. Others, more tragically, offer their children as blood sacrifices, believing they hold the ultimate power over their offspring. But is this not a direct affront to God Himself? When we manipulate and misuse His children, do we not stand in rebellion against His divine plan?

The Consequences of Meddling with God’s Children

Throughout history, those who sought to own and control others have faced grave consequences. Pharaoh, who enslaved God’s children, met destruction in the Red Sea. King Herod, who sought to eliminate the Christ-child, died a cursed man. Those who treat children as personal property rather than sacred trust should expect no lesser judgment.

In Matthew 18:6, Christ issues a solemn warning: “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” The weight of this statement is profound. Each time a parent assumes absolute ownership over their child, they stand at risk of divine retribution.

The Higher Calling of Parenthood

Parenthood is not about control; it is about guidance. It is about leading without imposing, about shaping without suffocating. It is about recognizing that the soul of your child is God’s, and He alone will dictate their purpose.

Proverbs 22:6 instructs us: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Notice it says, ‘the way he should go,” not “the way you want him to go.” Our duty is to prepare them for their divine journey, not to dictate it.

A Call to Rethink Parenthood

If every parent accepted this truth – that their children are not theirs, but God’s – the world would be a different place. There would be less abuse, less oppression, less sacrifice of innocent blood. There would be more love, more freedom, and more fulfillment of divine destinies.

As we reflect on our roles as parents, let us remember that we are but caretakers, shepherds of souls that ultimately belong to the Lord. To meddle with His children is to meddle with Him. And when we do, we must be prepared to face both the temporal and eternal consequences that He, as the ultimate Father, deems fit.

May we, as parents and guardians, rise above cultural obsessions and step into our true calling – not as owners, but as faithful stewards of the next generation. For in the end, our children are not our own. They belong to the One who created them. And to Him, we shall one day answer. 

Okom, Emmanuel Njor (PhD)

DEAR READER, DON'T GO YET! 

YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS ONE OF MY INTERESTING POSTS BELOW. DO YOU? 

JUST DIVE IN AND CATCH A YUMMY BITE! 

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