It is a common yet flawed assumption that children belong to their parents. Many, particularly in African societies, operate under the illusion that biological connection equals ownership. But let us pause for a moment and reflect – who among us can claim ownership of another’s soul? Who among us chose their own entry into this world? The truth is as old as time itself: we do not own our children; they are God’s, lent to us for a time, to be raised and nurtured, not possessed and manipulated. The Divine Custodianship of Parenthood Children are not commodities to be controlled, coerced, or commanded at will. They are gifts from the Almighty, entrusted into our care for a fleeting season. Psalm 127:3 reminds us, “Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” The language is clear: they are a heritage, not an acquisition. Parents are custodians, not owners. In Genesis, when God blessed humanity with the ability to multiply, He did not ...
Marriage, once the bedrock of human civilization, now faces an existential crisis. While it still holds significance for many, an increasing number of people question its relevance in today’s world. The rapid evolution of societal norms, economic hardships, and shifting cultural expectations has placed marriage under immense strain, leaving many to wonder whether the institution will survive in its traditional form.
1. The Shifting Sands of
Gender Roles
Traditional gender roles that once defined marriage have become increasingly
fluid. While the rise of feminism and gender equality have empowered
individuals, they have also disrupted long-standing marital expectations. The
idea of a sole breadwinner and a stay-at-home spouse is largely outdated, yet
many couples struggle to navigate this new landscape of shared
responsibilities. When neither partner is willing to conform to old norms, and
no clear framework replaces them, conflict arises. The struggle for balance and
mutual fulfilment often leads to frustration, weakening the foundation of marriage.
2. Economic Pressures
and Financial Instability
Beyond emotional compatibility, financial security remains a critical factor in
sustaining marriages. However, rising living costs, student loan debt, and
unstable job markets make it increasingly difficult for couples to establish a
stable life together. In many cultures, extravagant wedding ceremonies and
traditional marital expectations add to the financial burden, making marriage
an expensive endeavour. For many young people, especially bachelors, the prospect
of pouring hard-earned money into a costly wedding and family life feels
unnecessary when they can enjoy sexual satisfaction and even father children
without the financial strain of marriage.
3. The Rise of
Individualism
Modern society champions personal fulfilment and self-discovery, often at the
expense of long-term commitment. The desire for independence and autonomy means
that many people now prioritize their careers, travel, hobbies, and personal
ambitions over marriage. Unlike past generations, where societal and familial
expectations played a major role in pushing individuals towards marriage,
today’s culture places greater emphasis on self-sufficiency. As a result,
marriage is no longer seen as the ultimate milestone of adulthood but rather an
optional choice—one that many are increasingly opting out of.
4. The Changing Nature
of Relationships
The digital age has completely reshaped the way people form romantic
connections. Dating apps and online platforms have made meeting new partners
easier than ever before, fostering a culture of casual relationships and
instant gratification. The ability to effortlessly move from one partner to
another has made commitment feel restrictive rather than fulfilling. With
options seemingly endless, the patience required to build a lasting marriage is
diminishing, leading to higher divorce rates and a reluctance to enter lifelong
commitments.
5. The Ease of Sexual
Satisfaction and Childbearing Outside Marriage
In previous generations, marriage was seen as the gateway to sexual intimacy
and starting a family. Today, however, access to sexual satisfaction outside of
marriage is easier than ever, diminishing the incentive to commit. Hook-up
culture, cohabitation, and casual relationships provide the physical and emotional
benefits of a romantic partnership without the lifelong commitment.
Additionally, assisted reproductive technologies and changing social attitudes
allow people to have children outside of wedlock without societal backlash.
With these alternatives readily available, the motivation to marry for sexual fulfilment
or childbearing has significantly weakened.
6. The Unintended
Consequence of Prolonged Fertility Management
For many young women, the pursuit of sexual independence while waiting for the
‘right’ time to marry comes with its own set of risks. The widespread use of
long-term contraception and repeated abortion procedures, often undertaken to
prevent unwanted pregnancies, can lead to fertility issues later in life. When
these women eventually decide they are ready for marriage and children, some
may face difficulty conceiving—unintentionally making themselves less desirable
in a marriage market where fertility remains a valued trait. This unintended
consequence threatens the institution of marriage by reducing the number of
women who can fulfil traditional expectations of family building.
7. Societal Acceptance
of Alternative Family Structures
The traditional nuclear family is no longer the only model of family life. With
growing acceptance of cohabitation, single parenthood, same-sex relationships,
and polyamory, marriage is no longer viewed as the sole legitimate structure
for raising children or forming committed partnerships. While this represents
progress in terms of personal freedom, it also weakens the societal necessity
of marriage. With fewer pressures to conform to traditional expectations,
people are less inclined to see marriage as an essential part of their lives.
8. The Illusion of
Perfection
Social media has created unrealistic expectations about relationships and
marriage. Carefully handpicked images of ‘perfect’ couples give people a
distorted view of what marriage should look like. When real-life relationships
fail to meet these idealized standards, many people feel disillusioned and give
up rather than work through difficulties. The constant comparison to seemingly
happier couples fuels dissatisfaction, making long-term commitment seem less
appealing.
9. The Rise of Robotic
Companions and AI-Driven Relationships
With advancements in artificial intelligence and robotics, human companionship
is being redefined. Highly advanced AI-driven virtual partners and lifelike
robots are becoming an alternative to traditional relationships. These robotic
companions can be programmed to meet individual desires without the emotional
and financial complexities of human relationships. As technology advances,
people may increasingly turn to these alternatives, finding them more
convenient, customizable, and conflict-free. If AI partners become widely
affordable, the traditional institution of marriage may face a final,
unprecedented threat—one that replaces human intimacy with programmable
perfection.
Conclusion
The decline of marriage is not merely a shift in personal preference but a
reflection of deeper social, economic, and cultural transformations. While
marriage may never completely disappear, its future is uncertain. To preserve
its relevance, society must address these challenges by redefining marriage in
a way that aligns with contemporary realities. This means fostering realistic
expectations, encouraging open communication, and creating economic policies
that support young couples. Only through such adaptations can marriage continue
to thrive in the 21st century, rather than becoming a relic of the past.
Okom, Emmanuel Njor (PhD)
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