Skip to main content

WE ARE ALL CRIMINALS: DEMYSTIFYING AND BLURRING THE THIN DIVIDING LINE BETWEEN CONFORMITY AND CRIMINALITY

    Introduction: The Uncomfortable Truth   “We are all criminals.” The statement sounds outrageous. It offends our moral sensibilities. It appears to insult the honest citizen, the religious devotee, the respected public servant, the loving parent, and the law-abiding professional. Yet, before dismissing it as absurd, it is worth examining what we mean by crime, criminality, conformity, and deviance.   The central argument of this essay is simple, yet profoundly disturbing: the line separating the criminal from the conformist or law-abiding person is far thinner than society is willing to admit. Indeed, that line is often so thin, so fragile, and so dependent on circumstance that many of us stand on both sides of it simultaneously.   To understand this, we must begin where all discussions of crime properly begin – not with the criminal, but with the law.   Crime Exists Because Law Exists A crime is not merely a harmful act. It is not simply an ...

IS MARRIAGE ON ITS DEATHBED?

  

Marriage, once the bedrock of human civilization, now faces an existential crisis. While it still holds significance for many, an increasing number of people question its relevance in today’s world. The rapid evolution of societal norms, economic hardships, and shifting cultural expectations has placed marriage under immense strain, leaving many to wonder whether the institution will survive in its traditional form.

1. The Shifting Sands of Gender Roles
Traditional gender roles that once defined marriage have become increasingly fluid. While the rise of feminism and gender equality have empowered individuals, they have also disrupted long-standing marital expectations. The idea of a sole breadwinner and a stay-at-home spouse is largely outdated, yet many couples struggle to navigate this new landscape of shared responsibilities. When neither partner is willing to conform to old norms, and no clear framework replaces them, conflict arises. The struggle for balance and mutual fulfilment often leads to frustration, weakening the foundation of marriage.

2. Economic Pressures and Financial Instability
Beyond emotional compatibility, financial security remains a critical factor in sustaining marriages. However, rising living costs, student loan debt, and unstable job markets make it increasingly difficult for couples to establish a stable life together. In many cultures, extravagant wedding ceremonies and traditional marital expectations add to the financial burden, making marriage an expensive endeavour. For many young people, especially bachelors, the prospect of pouring hard-earned money into a costly wedding and family life feels unnecessary when they can enjoy sexual satisfaction and even father children without the financial strain of marriage.

3. The Rise of Individualism
Modern society champions personal fulfilment and self-discovery, often at the expense of long-term commitment. The desire for independence and autonomy means that many people now prioritize their careers, travel, hobbies, and personal ambitions over marriage. Unlike past generations, where societal and familial expectations played a major role in pushing individuals towards marriage, today’s culture places greater emphasis on self-sufficiency. As a result, marriage is no longer seen as the ultimate milestone of adulthood but rather an optional choice—one that many are increasingly opting out of.

4. The Changing Nature of Relationships
The digital age has completely reshaped the way people form romantic connections. Dating apps and online platforms have made meeting new partners easier than ever before, fostering a culture of casual relationships and instant gratification. The ability to effortlessly move from one partner to another has made commitment feel restrictive rather than fulfilling. With options seemingly endless, the patience required to build a lasting marriage is diminishing, leading to higher divorce rates and a reluctance to enter lifelong commitments.

5. The Ease of Sexual Satisfaction and Childbearing Outside Marriage
In previous generations, marriage was seen as the gateway to sexual intimacy and starting a family. Today, however, access to sexual satisfaction outside of marriage is easier than ever, diminishing the incentive to commit. Hook-up culture, cohabitation, and casual relationships provide the physical and emotional benefits of a romantic partnership without the lifelong commitment. Additionally, assisted reproductive technologies and changing social attitudes allow people to have children outside of wedlock without societal backlash. With these alternatives readily available, the motivation to marry for sexual fulfilment or childbearing has significantly weakened.

6. The Unintended Consequence of Prolonged Fertility Management
For many young women, the pursuit of sexual independence while waiting for the ‘right’ time to marry comes with its own set of risks. The widespread use of long-term contraception and repeated abortion procedures, often undertaken to prevent unwanted pregnancies, can lead to fertility issues later in life. When these women eventually decide they are ready for marriage and children, some may face difficulty conceiving—unintentionally making themselves less desirable in a marriage market where fertility remains a valued trait. This unintended consequence threatens the institution of marriage by reducing the number of women who can fulfil traditional expectations of family building.

7. Societal Acceptance of Alternative Family Structures
The traditional nuclear family is no longer the only model of family life. With growing acceptance of cohabitation, single parenthood, same-sex relationships, and polyamory, marriage is no longer viewed as the sole legitimate structure for raising children or forming committed partnerships. While this represents progress in terms of personal freedom, it also weakens the societal necessity of marriage. With fewer pressures to conform to traditional expectations, people are less inclined to see marriage as an essential part of their lives.

8. The Illusion of Perfection
Social media has created unrealistic expectations about relationships and marriage. Carefully handpicked images of ‘perfect’ couples give people a distorted view of what marriage should look like. When real-life relationships fail to meet these idealized standards, many people feel disillusioned and give up rather than work through difficulties. The constant comparison to seemingly happier couples fuels dissatisfaction, making long-term commitment seem less appealing.

9. The Rise of Robotic Companions and AI-Driven Relationships
With advancements in artificial intelligence and robotics, human companionship is being redefined. Highly advanced AI-driven virtual partners and lifelike robots are becoming an alternative to traditional relationships. These robotic companions can be programmed to meet individual desires without the emotional and financial complexities of human relationships. As technology advances, people may increasingly turn to these alternatives, finding them more convenient, customizable, and conflict-free. If AI partners become widely affordable, the traditional institution of marriage may face a final, unprecedented threat—one that replaces human intimacy with programmable perfection.

Conclusion
The decline of marriage is not merely a shift in personal preference but a reflection of deeper social, economic, and cultural transformations. While marriage may never completely disappear, its future is uncertain. To preserve its relevance, society must address these challenges by redefining marriage in a way that aligns with contemporary realities. This means fostering realistic expectations, encouraging open communication, and creating economic policies that support young couples. Only through such adaptations can marriage continue to thrive in the 21st century, rather than becoming a relic of the past.

Okom, Emmanuel Njor (PhD)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

WHEN LEADERS LEAVE: THE SILENT DISTANCE BETWEEN THE DEPARTED AND THE LED

Leadership rarely ends with the closing of a door. When a leader departs, whether from political office, an institution, or a community, the relationship between the leader and the led does not instantly disappear. Instead, it enters a subtle phase of psychological, social, and historical distancing. This period is not a void but a complex space filled with the echoes of past authority and the quiet reorganization of collective life.  The moment of departure often creates a vacuum filled with mixed emotions: relief, nostalgia, criticism, hope, or even confusion. For the followers who remain behind, the departure becomes the beginning of a reflective journey – one that gradually reinterprets the past while confronting the realities of the present. This process, often overlooked in leader-centric narratives, is where the true legacy of leadership is forged in the hearts and minds of those left behind.   The Immediate Aftermath: Emotional Echoes and the “Network Aftershock” In th...

NIGERIA’S KAKISTOCRACY: THE REIGN OF MEDIOCRITY AND THE GHOSTS OF COLONIAL DOMINATION

The Absurd Paradox There is something disturbingly absurd about the Nigerian story. How does a country blessed with millions of educated citizens, thousands of professors, and countless men and women of God find itself perpetually ruled by mediocre leaders – individuals whose credentials and moral capacities often fall far short of the demands of modern governance? It is a paradox that mocks the very notion of enlightenment, a tragedy that blurs the line between divine punishment and historical misfortune.   The Colonial Blueprint and the Culture of Mediocracy Since 1914, when the British yoked together diverse nations into one fragile colonial creation, Nigeria has been caught in a web of deliberate underdevelopment and leadership inversion. The most unprepared often ascend the throne, while the best minds retreat into silence, prayer, or cynical detachment. We have become a land where mediocracy is celebrated and excellence exiled – a country where those who can govern refuse to ...

YOUR CHILDREN, NOT YOUR OWN

  It is a common yet flawed assumption that children belong to their parents. Many, particularly in African societies, operate under the illusion that biological connection equals ownership. But let us pause for a moment and reflect – who among us can claim ownership of another’s soul? Who among us chose their own entry into this world? The truth is as old as time itself: we do not own our children; they are God’s, lent to us for a time, to be raised and nurtured, not possessed and manipulated. The Divine Custodianship of Parenthood Children are not commodities to be controlled, coerced, or commanded at will. They are gifts from the Almighty, entrusted into our care for a fleeting season. Psalm 127:3 reminds us, “Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” The language is clear: they are a heritage, not an acquisition. Parents are custodians, not owners. In Genesis, when God blessed humanity with the ability to multiply, He did not ...